Waterlogged
If you hire director Ben Wheatley to make your giant shark movie, let Ben Wheatley make your giant shark movie.
Meg 2: the Trench
Director: Ben Wheatley • Writers: Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber, Dean Georgaris, based on the book by Stevel Alten
Starring: Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Cliff Curtis, Page Kennedy, Sienna Guillory, Sophia Cai, Skyler Samuels, Sergio Peris-Mencheta
USA / China • 1hr 56mins
Opens Hong Kong August 3 • IIA
Grade: C
All you really need to know about Meg 2: The Trench is that one of the production companies, CMC Pictures (its name comes first), is a growth-focused private equity firm. ’Nuff said. So here we are, five years and US$550 million after The Meg, with Jason Statham’s reformed deep sea rescue diver (I think) Jonas Taylor, now crusading to save the oceans (I think) as a special agent (?) who busts environmental offenders with help from his pals “Mac” Mackreides and the water-averse DJ (Cliff Curtis and Page Kennedy, both reprising their roles). They also have help from the deep pockets of something or other ocean research organisation, run by dead oceanographers Suyin and her dad’s (Li Bingbing and Winston Chao) brother/son, Jiuming (newcomer Wu Jing) and funded by this film’s John Hammond character, Driscoli (Sienna Guillory, Jill Valentine in the Resident Evil franchise). Also along for the ride is Imperilled Child™ Meiying (Sophia Cai), Suyin’s suddenly orphaned, now 14-year-old daughter. When the gang departs its beloved Mana-One research station to explore Sector 19 (whatever that means) of the Mariana Trench, not only do they find all manner of giant creature that history forgot, but an illegal deep, deep, deep sea mining operation headed up by an old nemesis of Taylor’s, Montes (Sergio Peris-Mencheta), an operation that will fuck up the entire ecosystem but make the illegal miners very rich.
The mighty Statham leg
Most of us are going to see where this is heading from about 22 minutes in, as Meg 2: The Trench attempts to double down on everything that made The Meg a charmingly goofy hit but almost entirely misses the mark. More Megs, more creatures, more bonkers science, an even more evil corporate big bad, another beach resort jammed with oblivious swimmers, and the return of that bloody lap dog and his fancy lady owner. You know the one. Returning writers Jon and Erich Hoeber (RED, Battleship, Transformers: Rise of the Beasts) and Dean Georgaris (who penned the likes of Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life and Paycheck) have done very little, check that… they’ve done nothing to shake up the formula and have given themselves a bad case of sequelitis (see: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2). The appeal of a film like The Meg is in the way it’s serious about silly subject matter; the DNA of enjoyable, silly B movies. When they get unwieldy and lose their sense of humour, they just become boring. A good way to fight that, at least in theory, is to hire on a director with a distinct visual and thematic signature; a director who at first blush is completely wrong for the material. Kind of like the tantalising (never-going-to-happen) prospect of Quentin Tarantino making a Star Trek movie (hurry up and take my money). Enter Ben Wheatley – known for the enigmatic In the Earth, the kinetic and irreverent Free Fire, the gonzo adaptation of JG Ballard’s High-Rise, and his twisty gut-punch, Kill List, which came before The Witch and before Hereditary. Not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t the final product.
The thing about The Trench as a film is if you’ve bothered to hire a stylist like Wheatley (who is probably going to parlay his fee into three bizarro thrillers, so bonus) and tapped an action titan like Wu to co-star, why aren’t you letting either of them do what they do best? There’s nothing so inherently wrong with what is essentially a mindless popcorn entertainment that Wheatley’s distinct moody visuals and a few open cans of whup ass from Wu can’t overcome. But there is something inherently wrong with wasting their skills, as well as a set piece like an otherworldly Mariana Trench floor, which the stranded gang has to cross after a crash. Why was this dull? Also wrong is the blatant riffs on/rip-offs of familiar fare: Jurassic Park, Piranha, The Lost City, every shark movie ever (obviously), even Underwater FFS. And whose idea was it to turn Wu into a mugging Jackie Chan-lite? Snap! I know. The same boardroom crew whose purpose is “growth” and whose spreadsheets and data crunching told them this was the way to go. Meg 2: The Trench isn’t the worst film of the year, it’s not even objectively bad (for that I give you Hidden Strike. Shudder) or incompetently made (again, Hidden Strike). It’s just boring and cynical, when all the dominoes were lined up to make it amusingly unhinged or left-turn creepy. Aside from a couple of gnarly (bloodless) deaths and a few already forgotten wise-cracks, this is for Statham, Wu and killer shark completists only. — DEK
*Meg 2: The Trench was reviewed during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labour of the writers and actors currently on strike, it wouldn't exist.