Pet Project
Crassly commercial? It’s got DWayne Johnson. Of course it is. But the Super-Pets could be much, much, much worse.
DC League of Super-Pets
Directors: Jared Stern, Sam Levine • Writers: Jared Stern, John Whittington
Starring [English]: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Kate McKinnon, John Krasinski, Vanessa Bayer, Natasha Lyonne, Diego Luna, Marc Maron, Keanu Reeves, Thomas Middleditch, Olivia Wilde, Ben Schwarz, Jemaine Clement, Jameela Jamil, Dascha Polanco
USA • 1hr 46mins
Opens Hong Kong August 4 • I
Grade: B
Okay, let’s get a few things out of the way.
Basement dwellers freaking out about DC League of Super-Pets drawing – literally, this is animated – Wonder Woman as Indian (voiced by Jameela Jamil), and the Green Lantern as a girl (Dascha Polanco), please, just, return to your basements.
Did you know Black Adam was coming this October? No trouble if you don’t. Dwayne Johnson takes a few minutes from the stinger to plug his next film. He’ll keep you apprised as well as show everyone how shameless product shilling is really done – this in a movie purpose-built to move product.
And what is it that inspired this guinea pig moment? Seriously, a guinea pig was the villain of (the superior) The Bad Guys, and now this. Lulu (Kate McKinnon) is a megalomaniacal GP from Lexcorp’s animal testing labs, separated from her beloved Lex Luthor (still bald, still white, so chill) and now plotting ultimate revenge and world domination. What’d I miss?
Concepts don’t come much higher than Jared Stern and Sam Levine’s DC League of Super-Pets, a too-long, intermittently amusing (the good stuff is in the background and fleeting asides) super-powered pet adventure that hinges on kid-friendly themes of the fear of change, and of course the unconditional and inexplicable (to non-owners) relationship between humans and the pets that own them. No. That’s not backwards.
Are people still keeping pigs as pets?
Back in the day, when Jor-El was sending his infant son off Krypton before the planet died, Supe’s best friend stowed away in the pod and now, Superdog – Krypto – and Superman (John Krasinski) are best buds, doing good and fighting crime in Metropolis, but I guess only in the live action alternative universe. So even though Krypto (Johnson) is feeling a little neglected because of Superman’s romance with Lois Lane (Olivia Wilde), he wrangles a gang of shelter animals to help rescue his superhuman. They include Ace (Kevin Hart), who wound up in the shelter because his human misinterpreted a bite on their infant, a near-sighted turtle, Merton (Natasha Lyonne), paranoid chipmunk Chip (Diego Luna), and insecure pig PB (Vanessa Bayer). But Krypton is powerless, having swallowed a dog treat laced with Kryptonite, and Lulu’s mad scientist schtick has juiced Ace and the gang.
Stern and co-writer John Whittington, who penned Sonic the Hedgehog 2, (do with that what you will) hit all the expected beats at the pre-determined times, and keep the usual kid messages about being honest to oneself, friendship and devotion flowing. It’s facile for adults, but goes down easily, and it all ends happily, with the rescues in new homes. There’s still a shit ton of destruction during the final showdown. Zack Snyder would be proud.
It’s supposed to be a guinea pig
As mentioned, the best parts of DC League of Super-Pets are its little details. It can’t be accused of being lazy. The chyron on the news channel, the typical dog behaviour in the hologram of Krypto’s father, a major plot point about patiently waiting for Krypto’s dog treat to pass (trigger warning for pet owners) are a handful of several genuinely witty elements that riase Super-Pets above its station. The voice cast is nimble and the stylised Warner Animation Group artwork is bright, sunny and fluid; credit is due for making the action less kinetic and headache-inducing than is normally the case in family animation. But it is largely forgettable and inconsequential; a modest diversion for the dog days (sorry) of summer. It’s also no surprise that the Internet’s boyfriend, Keanu Reeves, is a highlight as Batman. His mopey delivery about his parents and his self-imposed solitude is pitch perfect, and when he teams up with Ace, well. Let’s just say Keanu-plus-dogs is a level of magical rarely witnessed by mere mortals. Sigh. — DEK