It’s-a-Maybe
Nintendo re-writes its own history with a second, much better Mario movie courtesy of Illumination.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
Directors: Aaron Horvath, Michael Jelenic • Writer: Matthew Fogel
Starring [English]: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Jack Black, Charlie Day, Seth Rogen, Kevin Michael Richardson, Khary Payton, Sebastian Maniscalco, Keegan-Michael Key
USA • 1hr 32mins
Opens Hong Kong April 5 • I
Grade: B-
When Japanese game designer Shigeru Miyamoto unleashed Mario Bros. on arcades in 1983, no one could have guessed he would be paving the way for Elden Ring. It may not have been the first video game phenom – Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, Galaga, Space Invaders, and Pong, if you want to get really old school, all preceded it – but its longevity speaks for its popularity. Nintendo is the house that Mario built. Not even the abomination that was the 1993 film could dull Mario’s star. So it’s only right the brand get the movie it deserves – like Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. A little respect please.
So to that end Nintendo has turned to Minions animation studio Illumination to transform its 8-bit wonder into a franchise expander to rival… well, Minions. If Illumination could make walking, “talking,” yellow rabbit turds into a global, billion-dollar grossing monster surely it could do similar with an already beloved IP (there’s that word again). And as expected Illumination has made The Super Mario Bros. Movie a hyperkinetic, primary-coloured, mercifully brief and utterly faithful cinematic bon bon for Mario fans (oh the Easter eggs in here) that, like D&D, is a fairly easy origin story for non-players to get into. That said, it’s not nearly as much fun as it should be given that it’s about a Brooklyn plumber who gets hopped up on mushrooms and wrestles with monkeys. Helloooooo….
Not as gross as 1993
Directors Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, most prominent for Teen Titans Go!, and writer Matthew Fogel wisely put our fears of “The Worst Chris” Pratt doing a bad Italian accent to bed early on by tipping their hat to “It’s-a-me” but turning it into a questionable inside sales joke between Mario and his brother Luigi (the shrieking, grating Charlie Day, turning it down to about 5 or 6). Their plumbing business isn’t doing so well, Mario in particular feels like the loser his father constantly tells him he is, but that changes when he and Luigi get pulled into the alternate world through a broken water main while trying to save New York’s hipster borough. The evil, despotic Bowser (Jack Black) has just conquered the Penguin King (Khary Payton, doing the same royal thing he did in The Walking Dead) with his turtle-ish Koopa Troopers (AKA “merchandise”), kind of like the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz, and his next target is Princess Peach’s (Anya Taylor-Joy) Mushroom Kingdom. Well she’s not having that, so after a quick intro to Mario by her, I don’t know, master at arms, Toad (Keegan-Michael Key), the trio sets out find Luigi, lost in the Darklands, and to forge an alliance with Cranky Kong (Fred Armisen) and his under-appreciated, smashing son Donkey Kong (Seth Rogen). There is much jumping, boinging, powering up, flying, floating and otherwise Mario-ing. And a few “Mamma mia”s are in there for good measure.
There’s nothing inherently awful about The Super Mario Bros. Movie, and for Mario fans it will be the tonic they’ve been waiting for for 30 years. Illumination’s technical skill is never in question; every apple, rusty pipe, magical brick and strand of moustache hair is impeccably rendered and almost tactile in its artistry. And of course the never-say-die wholesomeness and messaging about finding faith and strength in self and family is… family-friendly and inoffensive; Brian Tyler’s score does a nice job of riffing on the game’s familiar themes. Also in its favour is a freedom from incessant pop-culture references that have become de rigueur for films like this, and the voice cast is solid, even Pratt, if unremakrable. But there’s a weird inertness to The Super Mario Bros. Movie that clangs considering its, erm, buoyant source material and the wall-to-wall mayhem that propels the story from jump. Need proof? Only once during The Super Mario Bros. Movie screening I went to did delighted juvenile squeals rip through the auditorium when shenanigans happened. The proof is in that pudding right there. — DEK