‘Wedding’ Belle
The indefatigable Jennifer Lopez drops her latest January diversion. You know this movie.
Shotgun Wedding
Director: Jason Moore • Writer: Mark Hammer
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Josh Duhamel, Jennifer Coolidge, Cheech Marin, D’Arcy Carden, Lenny Kravitz, Sonia Braga, Selena Tan
USA • 1hr 40mins
Opens Hong Kong January 12 • IIA
Grade: B-
It’s January. You know what that means, right? Time for a Jennifer Lopez movie, a Gerard Butler movie, or both if we’ve been really good. It’s the time of year when distributors dump stuff that, in years past, would head straight to home video; schlocky nonsense that’s easily digestible and not too fattening at a fattening point on the calendar. Last April we got Marry Me – which was 2022’s “January” thanks to the ’rona – the kind of patented J.Lo rom-com she’s so devoted to. But Jenny from the block’s got to mix it up, so this year she’s sprinkling in a bit of her second favourite genre: the actioner. She crushed it in the underrated network TV drama Shades of Blue. Fight me.
Shotgun Wedding comes with a history. At one point it was supposed to star executive producer Ryan Reynolds, which would never have worked because he’s insufferable and would have distracted from Lopez. Then the leading man was supposed to be Armie Hammer, and that was scuttled by Hammer’s cannibalism brouhaha. But that wouldn’t have worked either, as Hammer doesn’t feel like the kind of actor who’s willing to let himself look goofy. So we get discount Timothy Olyphant Josh Duhamel (Transformers) and a predictable, throwaway, sturdy Lopez romantic action-comedy.
Never change, Jenny
Look, if we’re honest this movie’s a D, a C at a push. But it’s also a J.Lo movie, and it needs to be rated on the J.Lo axis, Hustlers, Out of Sight and The Cell being the high water mark, and drivel like What to Expect When You're Expecting, Gigli and The Wedding Planner at the other end – things we don’t talk about in the hopes they will just magically go away. Like a rash. Shotgun Wedding is serviceable, its plugs a hole, and like most Lopez offerings, manages a couple of genuinely funny moments, mostly due to Lopez’s natural movie star charm.
Lopez is Darcy, the kind of anonymously successful career woman producer Lopez prefers, who’s at a Philippines resort with her washed-out baseball player fiancé Tom (Duhamel) and their clanging families for their destination dream wedding – or, it should be noted, his dream wedding. Things are rocky from jump: Darcy’s sophisticated, bickering divorced parents Robert (Cheech Marin) and Renata (the incomparable Sônia Braga) have no patience for Tom’s more yokel-y folks, Carol (Jennifer Coolidge) and Larry (Steve Coulter). It gets worse when Darcy’s ex, Sean (Lenny Kravitz, and he’s the ex?) shows up un-RSVPed, followed quickly by a band of pirates who want Robert’s money. Blah blah kidnapping, yada yada misunderstanding, etc etc heroics. I sure hope the central couple work out their issues and stay together.
No one not already in the Cult of Lopez is going to re-evaluate their position on her after Shotgun Wedding, and you’re not in the theatre if you need convincing anyway. And that’s fine. Writer Mark Hammer (no relation to Armie, we don’t think – or hope) and director Jason Moore (Pitch Perfect) lean into, and rely heavily on, Lopez’s personality, and never get fancy on the filmmaking front – unless you count making Lopez and Duhamel pace back and forth during the inciting “break-up”. Seriously, Jason, no one moves around that much when talking about their hopes for their marriage. The pacing droops in the middle, when Moore lets the wedding guests get backstories we neither need nor care about, and it doesn’t help that Duhamel is no George Clooney; he’s not even an Owen Wilson, meaning he and Lopez only work up an organic soap-level lather. They never quite froth as much as they should as a romantic duo.
So the jokes are hoary, the emotional beats are clichéd, and Lopez looks radiant despite frequently standing within the blast radius of a hand grenade. You expected otherwise? Which is not to say Lopez is a selfish performer. Selena Tan as resort manager Margie gets her share of well placed quippy asides, as does D'Arcy Carden as Robert’s yoga-flaky new squeeze Harriet, and, duh, Coolidge, continuing the moment she started having with Single All the Way. Shotgun Wedding is unapologetically what it presents as, and you’re all in – or you’re not. Strap in for G.But in Plane, coming soon. — DEK