No End in Sight
The ‘Halloween’ reboot/remake/true sequel trilogy wraps up with a bit of a middle finger to fans.
Halloween Ends
Director: David Gordon Green • Writers: Paul Brad Logan, Chris Bernier, Danny McBride, David Gordon Green
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, Will Patton, Rohan Campbell, Kyle Richards, Keraun Harris
USA • 1hr 51mins
Opens Hong Kong October 13 • IIB
Grade: C
It takes almost 70 minutes of a 110-minute movie for Halloween Ends to start Halloweening. Seriously, Michael Myers doesn’t even show up for the first 63 that aren’t a recap of Halloween (2018) and Halloween Kills (2021). I mean, what the hell kind of Halloween movie has no damn Myers in it. Just putting it out there.
The third instalment of the “true” sequel series to John Carpenter’s 1978 classic, genre-defining Halloween takes the series so far from its roots and so far off course from even the 2018 entry that the series has ceased to hold any of its appeal. And don’t get me wrong, going off course isn’t bad. James Cameron went astray with Aliens and that’s an all time sci-fi great. Granted there are some creative kills in Halloween Ends (which, let’s face it, is what we’re here for), but not even those can make up for the garbage romance (!) that propels the story. Do any of us really want to watch some love-sick shrinking violet find his mojo by imitating Haddonfield, Illinois’s bogeyman? Do we need to see him blossom into a playah? WTF?
70 minutes before he shows up
Director and reported fanboy David Gordon Green has tried to shoehorn contemporary relevancy in the new trilogy, first by focusing on Laurie’s trauma and the impact it has on subsequent generations, then by pivoting to the destructive nature of easily stoked mob mentality (Haddonfield, Twitter, same same). Halloween Ends kind of marries the two, and starts with a (could have been) clever detour. It’s Halloween night a year after the events of Halloween Kills, when Myers mysteriously vanished and Laurie Strode’s (Jamie Lee Curtis, allowed out of the hospital bed this time) pain has become Haddonfield’s pain. A sweet student, Corey (Rohan Campbell), is babysitting a brat that deserves a spanking when a prank goes wrong, the kid dies, and Corey becomes the town’s latest pariah. Sadly, this is where the film peaks, both tension-wise and stylistically. Meanwhile, Laurie’s living with her granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) as she tries to piece her life back together (remember mom, dad, and BF bit the dust in part two) and sets her up with Corey after she meets him at a gas station. She defended the retiring, guilt-wracked Corey from the local bullies. Of course. Then Corey meets Michael Myers in the sewer where he lives now. Yeah, whatever. Cue murder rampage.
Mommy issues
More mommy issues
The biggest problem with Halloween Ends is not the self-seriousness that clangs with the frustration with its own neo-mythology, and it’s certainly not Curtis, who’s fully committed despite the crap script. It’s that it’s not scary. Carpenter’s creeping tension is replaced by a plodding sense of duty and a desperate grab at “fresh” narrative. Carpenter streamlined our worst nightmare and created an icon but it took four writers to muddy the waters here: How, and why, does Corey go from meek on Monday to homicidal maniac on Tuesday? Why does Allyson flip from supportive daughter on Wednesday to bitter and resentful cult (of one) member on Thursday? How is Myers Laurie’s fault? What the hell cherry blossoms is Laurie’s sheriff’s department love interest Frank Hawkins (Will Patton) talking about? Are all Haddonfield teens dicks?
Of course, just because the title is Halloween Ends that doesn’t mean this is going to stop. There was a Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter once, the fourth film, and we know how that went. Saw managed to drag itself out without the main killer for what feels like about 163 films. The hint that there’s something supernatural about Michael Myers has always been there (if unofficially) and by suggesting there’s an outside source for his murderous power there’s room for another film – particularly if anyone wants to legit interrogate the concept of inherited or transferred violence. If this heap makes any real money on opening weekend you can bet it won’t truly end. Someone’s going to pick up that Shatner mask. — DEK
scream-free Jamie
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